The Decloration of My Diary: MY DAILY PLEDGE

I am who I am, and I LOVE ME, IN ALL OF MY UNIQUENESS, for who I am now and was created to be, and on THIS DAY I choose to LIVE TO THE FULLEST! With no regrets, I will make one step today for my future tomorrow. I will "FORGET the mistakes AND CONTINUE to PRESS FORWARD TOADY for the PRIZE".

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


“How are you doing it?” “Are you cutting calories, going cold turkey, what?” “What are you working towards?” are just a few of the questions I’ve been faced with these past two days, since deciding to do this blog. It’s funny because of the stories I’ve heard and shared with people in these past few days has already been an encouragement to me in the process, but has also showed me just how so many of the people who are around me and extending out are all in the same place (TOLD YOU WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER). It’s funny because at church on Sunday, the message talked about “Pressing On” for the “Prize” ( ) and ultimately going through this journey to keep me focused I have to have a goal in mind, and prize, that will help keep me focused on what I am doing, because "when I get distracted, I get seperated from my prize, and when I get pressed, I MUST CONTINUE TO PRESS ON" in order to regain my focus (My Big Bro wink wink!)
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            I happened to watched a movie on Lifetime, and no it wasn’t about a child being lost and reunited or about a woman being beaten by her husband, but it was called “Lying to be Perfect” and in short it detailed the journey of this lady who was lying about who she was, she created an alter ego, to reach her goal of becoming a head writer for this magazine, since she was not given the opportunity to because she did not “look the part.” She and her friends were denied seating in a preferred spot in the window, and “assumed” it was because they were overweight. The friends took this and established a commitment to one another to lose the weight and they each had individual goals, but collectively the goal was to go back to the restaurant and sit in that section. Watching this movie, hit home in soooo many ways, it really took me looking at myself and how I had change for the people around me, or because someone said I couldn’t or wasn’t “enough, the right one, or even their type” and on the inside it hurt but on the outside “I could never show it.” And like many, in my head and on the inside I am physically and someone different from what you may see or presume from the outside, and that was one of the many messages I got from the show (there were so many more but you know I could talk you to death about them :-) but I won’t).
            One of the other things I told you about was that this is a “LIFESTYLE CHANGE” and that means that it transcends just the physical change of me, and taps into the spiritual and financial (THANKS TC WELLS) aspects of my life, because overall I want to experience freedom in these areas, but as usual for what reason. If I experience freedom and I no longer struggle with my weight, temptations, debt and so many other things, what will it mean if that is simply the end? It will be as if I have arrived, but will have no real reason to continue. TC Wells asked me before why do you want to be financially free? And I responded to be free out of debt, and he responded …OK anything else? And because me doing it was solely for me focused, with others benefiting along the way, but mainly for me. It made me look at things differently. It made me look at all the people who could and would benefit from me becoming financially free.
             Just like with that, I am looking at my goals a little differently not simply what I want but how what I want impacts the lives of others. With this in mind I set short term and long term goals, and I will share them below, because that was the only way I was able to fight against my flesh and physical desires, was to think about my goals and how if I fell into the temptation, how I would fall out of sight of my goals and consistency (which I often lack). As I pondered rolling into the drive thru at Taco Bell, after switching lanes about 6 times on my way home from work, I literally had to talk out loud to myself and say no I didn’t need it, and as my desires YELLED BACK “No one will know and its simply 4 tacos and a drink” I felt empowered by the immediate flashed reminder of what, why, and who I’m doing this for. Still wanting it I called a friend (The Beast #2 AK) I confessed what I desired and shared how I NEEDED encouragement, and she did just that let me vent, cry (LITERALLY) and fuss and she simply encouraged me with the smallest words “I’m proud of what you are trying to do.” As I cried going into the grocery store HUNGRY (HOOONEGRY) I was tempted soon as I walked in, but talking to her encouraged me to make that quick right and stock up on fruits, which are foreign to my normal diet and look out of place in my basket (like Americans in another country trying to speak English). It was a struggle but it was my “TODAY SUCCESS!” I took the stairs today (both up and down at work and in the building) I lifted kids as weights at work, parked further in the parking lot and walked the incline into the building….all simple forms of exercise for me. Like I shared with “MY TWIN” I set daily and weekly goals to help me feel like I’m accomplishing something, which in turn motivates me to keep going! So my question to you is, what are you goals? Who else, other than yourself, do they impact? And I now ask you the "ok..what else" because after you arrive, what will then become you goal, what will you continue to "press on towards?" So again THIS IS IT! Today, check... a success, tomorrow who knows, but TODAY was a success!


Short: Fit into my “Yellow Dress” by my birthday (6 months from now, August 1st) Long: Inspire other women and young ladies to make lifestyle changes that will show holistic results and will impact the lives of those around them. Understanding loving themselves for where they are, while addressing the underlying issues and attempting to improve their life and health.

Short: Identify the daily promises of God for my life and my future! Long: Develop the character of Christ in order to tap into the life I’m suppose to have but has been stunted by my on inhibitions. And walk with others to break free spiritually from the same strongholds.

Short: To save a minimum of $250 a month Long: To be DEBT FREE (NOT including student loans, cause that is just a hot mess) in the next 5 years.


  1. Phi,
    Keep it coming you are encouraging me. Food is my crack and 7 eleven is the crack house. I drive so much and do not normally pack a lunch. I sit in front of a computer all day and transport all of the kids, so I must set short and long term goals as well. I'll send you a link of this redskin who was out of football and weighed at least 450lbs. His major is, was that he was not willing to face his reality. I'm glad you are helping face my reality so that I can see the prize. Same thing with finances. Until I began to monitor my finances Daily "chedda counting" vs. "calorie counting" I never knew how much I was spending or loosing. Check your chedda everyday.

    Love you Girl!

  2. Phi--this was so me last year :D but for me it was also a mental thing to change the way I saw myself (because I know I'm not 200 some pounds but that's what I see in the mirror). Getting fit for my future was something I knew I had to do for me, my family and for my future family.

    Finances are the same--if you don't control it, it controls you. I recommend to you It gives you pie-charts of spending and you can use that to see where your money is going, and also helps you to start a budget.

    DMo--you are hilarious!! I recommend packing string cheese and crackers and an apple. Sounds simple but that keeps me going (bit of protein and sugar). I also really like Cliff bars--energy bars that actually do taste ok. :D

    So proud of you Phi and loving the blog. Really!!
    *HUGS* Keep on goin!!